Dieting Train Wreck

Saturdays were / are my weigh in day.

Today’s weight: 194.6
No exercise except walking the dog for 20 minutes and cleaning my car. Really trying hard to follow ww this week and record all my points

So, in the 12+ months since I last posted! a number of things happened:

I lost 20 lbs, then regained 4
Tried and then stopped – taking Quesmia
Ran two 3 mile races
Continued working w/ my trainer
Signed up for a 1/2 marathon

With spring now here in MN and summer clothes ready to bare arms and legs (and all that entails) I’m again working towards my 145 weight goal.

I’ll try to post more regularly than once a year, too.

Stats:
Weight 194.8 (buck naked)
Height: still 5’5″
Age: 54
Goal weight: 145

Still hopeful. That should be the title of my post.

Here’s the deal. I know my strengths and weaknesses. I know my triggers and safe foods. Yet I still feel powerless to stop them. It’s like I can see the problem coming down the road. Here it comes; better get ready. Yet it still has the ability to throw me into a total mess every time.
So what do I do? How do I fix this flaw?

Here’s what I know:
WW works – if I follow it. But I seem powerless to track unless it is a processed / prepackaged food, which is unhealthy and full of crap that doesn’t satisfy me. So, unless I use WW recipes that are already have points figured out, it takes too long to figure out points value with the online recipe builder (for me anyway). And it the points value end up being too high, then I have to find another recipe and start all over again.
For example, I subscribed to emeals a month ago (that’s me – always ready to try the “nextbigthingtohelpmeloseweight.” My first subscription was to the low carb option (figuring that would translate to being the lowest in points. Wrong.
Then I switched to the low fat option. Better, but they do not list the nutrition info for each recipe, so I need to go into the WW online recipe build and do it step by step. This morning, it took me 10 minutes to figure out the info for the ingredients for easy enchiladas. Because the recipes calls for generic ingredients (“one pound of extra lean ground beef”) I need to either be home to see exactly what fat percentage ground beef he bought (93/7 – good job, honey!) or assume. The same goes for all the non-vegetable ingredients, which are listed here:

6 oz box Mexican rice, cooked
7 oz package shred firesta cheese (low or reduced fat)
20 oz package burrito size tortillas
10 oz can enchilada sauce

So, by the time I enter all of the above, I can see that each enchilada is 9 points. That’s fine, except I know that I have issues with portion control and feeling full – and there is also a side salad on the menu (oh – and the recipe says it’s for 3-6 people. WTF is that?)
So, I scrap that recipe and enter a new one for soak ahead bean soup (slow cooker recipe which I love). Five minutes later I discover that that one’s 9 points, too. And that’s without the cornbread that supposed to accompany the meal. So now, it’s time to leave for work and I’ve wasted 15 minutes trying to figure out what to eat for dinner and have come up empty handed.
Which means that I’ll be starving when I get home from work (always am) and start devouring everything in sight and end up ordering pizza or fast food for the family. At which point I’ll say “screw it – I’ll start (again) tomorrow” eat a meal that 30+ points.
Rinse. repeat. Results: 15 years and no significant weight loss (5 pounds).
I need to figure this out.
More later.

Ended the day on Tuesday in not a great way.Got home and had a sting cheese stick to tide me over while I made dinner. Served my WW ham with one sweet potato and green beans and added milk. Had 1.5 servings of ham (was very good) so was at my daily points goal + two extra. Was really tired, so I napped for 20 minutes after dinner. Abt 9:30 my tummy started growling so back into the kitchen I went. Rather than eat a piece of fruit, I spot some frozen bean and cheese burrios in the fridge. Before I could think abt it, I had heated in for 30 seconds and devoured it. 6 flippin’ points. I did track it and now have one measly weekly point left to last me three days. Sigh.

One positive, though. I was ready to go and and heat another one. But before I could I thought of my goal and my past behaviors that got me to this size. Instead, I got a big glass of water and passed on the burrioto. Woo-hoo.

Quick update. Had to skip ww on 1/5 but figured that since my son was in town from Japan and I had not been tracking, I’d be in for a gain. Imagine my surprise when I weighed in at home on Sat am and saw the # 211.8 appear before my eyes (and the scale is pretty accurate).

Fast forward to Monday and the scale is back at 215. So, not sure if Sat was a false low (I hate those) or if my week of unfettered eating caught up with me. Still feeling positive though.

Couple other notes: I walked on the tm at home on Monday am, but today was too pooped and wanted to sleep in. So, I decided to walk at the gym at my office over lunch. Loaded up my stuff (I rented a locker last week) and got here 20 minutes early.

At 1:10pm I went downstairs to the locker room. Long story short: I forgot socks so walked in my knee high nylons. Then the tm I was using broke after 15 minutes. It was also hot. So I stopped and called it a day. Things to remember for next time:

• Elliptical machines (2) look ok
• It’s really hot in there so remember to position fan accordingly
• There are no book racks to reading will be very hard. Maybe stock up on audio books?
• Bring socks and deodorant
• If I can’t handle the heat I may only use the gym here for stretching and Nautilis machines

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